Saturday, January 12, 2013

Upside Down, I love you 2012!

Outfit New Look Maroon Peplum Top.

Call me an outdated person, but this is truly the first leisure time of this little dumb deer above to write on my blog for my very first post in 2013. How are you guys anyways? So far so good, huh? We come to the middle of January already. Today is page 12 of 2013, which means we are going to leave this month like real soon. Time flies so fast, doesn't it? My 2013 goes so far so great. Loving instead of loathing the rainy days which prolong their periods from the actual season, happily be thankful to God instead of overbearing the unpredictable marks which I get after a hard try and attempt during my third semester of college, paying more attention instead of just being indifferent to the political issues especially in Indonesia, getting a heart to cut my shorter than last year and it might be my shortest hair I have ever had since I was in elementary school, and many other things that I feel that I did not do in my previous year.

What about my 2012? What do I leave behind this year?
Well, my 2012 was extremely amazing. I studied really well for the last two semesters in 2012, cooked super nice dishes by myself for myself and sometimes for my sisy and boyfriend, held some events in my university, cut my hair short enough to have a new sensation of life since I never have a short hair before, had a fight with my boyfriend until we found our own reconciliation, missed my mom and dad and all of my relatives who live hundred kilometers away from me, watched my favorite Korean boy band - Bigbang with my beloved fellows, had my very first time to have a "me time" by watching on the theater by myself, invited to several cool events and many other happiness which sounds pretty cool and silly  that I had done in 2012 which cannot be listed one by one. I worked so hard last year because once I felt I did not do my best, I always remember my favorite chapter of Holy Bible, 2 Thessalonians 3:10, "If you don't work, you don't eat."
 However, my 2012 is not only about happiness. I cried for many times, I had been left by some of my lovely people around me, my heart was torn apart, but no matter what happened to me, my mom always taught me to still be thankful to God and stop complaining.
Once I ever wrote on my twitter when I got bad news in my last days of 2012, "'There are zillion people out there, but why should it happen to me?' doesn't cure anything. Be grateful, He has the biggest plan for us :)" I was so broke at that time, I felt that I was really failed. My heart was torn apart into pieces. But then I realize, why should I stuck in this moment? Should not I just be thankful to God for what had happened to me? Maybe it was the right plan, and another bigger plan has been waiting for me like what in A Walk to Remember movie had said:
Jamie: "You know what I figured out today?"
Landon: "What?"
Jamie: "Maybe God has a bigger plan for me than I had for myself. Like this journey never ends. Like you were sent to me because I'm sick. To help me through all this. You're my angel."

Nevertheless, I was still such an introvert because just like Soe Hok Gie, my guru, I have a principle that "Nobody can see the trouble I see. Nobody knows my sorrow." However, I am still a joyful little dumb deer though.

So now, though I love my 2012 so much, after the upside down in 2012, I believe that life still should go on, right? I have learned so many things in 2012 and also gained so many new experiences for my preparation in welcoming the new year with so many hopes with no expectation. My only hope is, I wish I can a better person, inside and outside, always be grateful and respect each other. Because I believe by being and doing those things, I can reach my dream and have a brighter future especially in 2013. I am going to miss you 2012, but here I am in 2013. Welcome, 2013! Please be nice to me :) Hopefully I can be a good snake lol.

Sincerely yours, little dumb deer.
Eva Silviana of Crunchy Cheese Me.

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